Sunday, March 14, 2010

9 Minutes of Awesome

I love this tune (Telephone by Lady Gaga) so I was killer excited for the video to come out, and let me tell you it did not disappoint!

So apparently she is in prison and is wearing cigarette glasses and chains. I'm pretty sure prison reform laws mean that nobody has to literally wear chains while incarcerated, I guess Gaga didn't get the memo? Also, those glasses must be worth a fortune in prison bucks.

The next notable outfit involves Diet Coke curlers and a badass studded jacket. Also, I heard the brunette in this frame is her younger sister? The Diet Coke is the first in a long line of unfortunate video product placement from Virgin Mobile, Polaroid and some lame dating website. The product placement was super disappointing, but I guess this just shows that Lady Gaga is the Queen of Commercialism, bar none? Image over music everyday.

SCANTILY CLAD WOMEN!

Gaga gets bailed out of prison wearing a funky hat. What a classy lady.

Here we are continuing with the subliminal message in the song aka TELEPHONE. Nice 'telephone' headpiece. It really goes well with the title of the song.

Yes, whenever I choose to poison people while cooking contaminated foodstuffs my preferred attire is always rubber.

The Mickey Mouse glasses from the Paparazzi video make a return appearance! This time Beyonce is wearing them and she looks fierce.

This is the outfit where Lady Gaga quits her day job as an 'entertainer' and turns into a mega pro-wrestler. The facial expression is perfect, all she is missing is a huge belt.

Beyonce, Honey Bee, whatever you want me to call you - this outfit is kinda rad. It reminds me of bejeweled Balmain, but rad nonetheless.

A leopard print CATsuit? How clever.

Finally the video ends with Gaga and Beyonce running "far far away" to go join the Mormon cultist subsect of the FLDS church. Its ironic that they choose to do so in a truck named the "Pussy Wagon". The intellectual juxtaposition is killing me.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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