Showing posts with label The Unlikely Hero. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Unlikely Hero. Show all posts

Friday, December 3, 2010

Red Writing Hood: The Unlikely Hero...Blisstray Adventure

I had a scene from my NaNo novel that fit this week's prompt perfectly (Trapped!), so I edited it some, and offer it to you here today. Enjoy. It is still a work in progress, so be gentle, but critique is always welcome.

For those of you joining in the story for the first time, here is a little synopsis: The world is ending as the evil Rtharo is slowly awakening and gaining power. There is only one pure hearted individual who can stop him by taking on a quest to find the 5 ancient relics and their matching gemstones. He then has to destroy those items in order to eliminate Rtharo's chance for immortality. He is joined along the way by an unlikely band of heroes destined to join his mission to save the world.

This excerpt below begins after our heroes have successfully acquired the sapphire shield from Blisstray Castle, a frozen elven castle far out on the Vertwyn Sea...

The Unlikely Hero

With the little boat safely in the water, we turned to watch as the great castle, frozen for centuries, collapsed in on itself and fell, as silently as it had stood, and was swallowed up by the dark, churning sea. Tears escaped Gwyneth’s eyes as we saw Galain appear from out of the rubble, his arm outstretched towards us. We were too far out to be able reach him in time. I watched as he stood valiantly on the shore, the whole island collapsing behind him until he, too, was swallowed up by the sea.

With our eyes misty, and our bodies beaten, we turned our sights towards finding the elusive pirate ship that had brought us there. We had to try to get to it despite the frenzy of the angry sea. Each time we rode a high wave, one of us thought we could see its masts further out, but it continued to allude us. Petrus and Kub rowed until we were no longer in danger of getting sucked under with Blisstray Castle. We fell under a spell of silence out of respect for Galain.

 “He was a good man. The noblest of noble, the most loyal man to ever grace the Guild, after his father, he was.” Gwyneth spoke up, remembering Galain. “His lineage traces all the way back to the first king of Tierna ‘Or, their loyalty always true, their hearts always pure. There was always a D’Salient leading the Guild. My brother and I used to drive his mother crazy always asking for her freshly baked cookies. This is a sad, sad day. He was the last of his line, his only brother killed during our battle with the verhildr. Tierna ‘Or has lost greatly today.” Gwyneth bowed her head as her tears rolled freely down her face.

“His death was not in vain. He will not be forgotten. His legend will live on through the ages. I promise you.” Petrus spoke in consolation as his fingers tapped his lyre. We bowed our heads in reverence until Ionwe stood up suddenly, rocking the small dinghy.

“Look there!! It’s the ship!” he said, pointing out in the direction we had come from. Petrus and Kub took up the oars again, turning our boat around and rowing hard in an attempt to lessen the distance. The nearer we came to the ship, the worse the sea became.

The waves were rough and hard, sometimes crashing over our dinghy, though they never overturned it. The water was still tossing us about even though Blisstray had disappeared. The storm still brewed just overhead; no rain, only violent winds with thunder and streaks of lightning. Eruwe passed a rope out and told all of us to attach ourselves to it in the event that our little dinghy did get overturned. The fierceness of the waves frightened me since falling into the water meant death since I could not swim. None of us wanted to be trapped on the sea in such a small craft.

Ionwe and I took over the rowing, relieving Petrus and Kub, our freshness moving the boat along faster than before. The waves got violent for a spell, and we felt the great white shape in the water beneath us shortly before we saw it. The shape continued past us, heading in the direction of the ship, the rage of the sea moving with it. After it passed, the waves around us calmed, making only gentle splashes against the sides. We watched as the angry waters moved faster, on course with the ship.  Eruwe saw it before anyone else did.

“Tinten! Look! She’s there, at the hull of the ship!” He yelled, pointing.

Ionwe stood up and grabbed his bow, fitting an arrow swiftly in its crosshairs and releasing. We watched as it sailed over the sea, missing its target by mere inches as she went back into the water. He fit another arrow in the quiver, ready to release, but she did not appear again within aiming distance. He sighed loudly, and released his arrow, hoping the pirates would take it for the warning it was. We were close enough to watch as Tinten played with the ship, but too far away to help them.

 We watched as they fought her, and she fought back. We could hear the cannons firing, splitting one of her gigantic tentacles apart and sending bits of her flesh flying and raining down on us. We could hear the shouts of the men on deck as they engaged in battle. We could see the speckles of light from the swords they had drawn in defense against her. The sea would hurl in her anger, sending great bursts of water straight into the air like a tsunami and crashing on the deck of the ship, pitching her to and fro.

We watched helplessly as pirates went overboard into the sea, their arms swinging as they desperately sliced at the great beast, only to be caught by a tentacle and dragged under the water, never to be seen again. We shivered in horror as the rabid waves battered lifeless pirates between the planks and pieces of mast littering the water. I saw the ship start turning, and almost applauded. Perhaps Captain Castille would get the better of her yet.

Another boom from the cannon, a flurry of movement on the deck, and we heard a deafening high pitched screeching that echoed across the water. Tinten seemed to pull out and back off, disappearing into the sea. The waves around the ship were still violent yet began slowing, until they quieted and calmed.

She was gone.

 We held our breaths until we heard cheers ring out from the ship. As the dark clouds in the sky lifted, fresh arms took over the rowing and started for the ship once more. The waves bumped gently against our boat, with an occasional slap here and there. The battered pirate ship loomed larger and larger the closer we got to it. Suddenly, the sea gurgled, the waves rocked at a quicker pace, and we saw the sea begin moving, taking us further away again with waves that propelled us backwards.

Before we could sound an alarm to the pirates and the ship, Tinten rose out of the sea. She propelled herself onto the deck of the ship in a great heave, carrying a huge wall of water with her as she did. We watched with terror as her tentacles wrapped around the ship, embracing it, with her body swallowing the great deck. We gasped in shock as the wall of water came crashing down, taking Tinten and the ship in the water with it. The great wave splashed out, and we looked for some sign of the ship. There was nothing there, not even the tip of the mast could be seen. She had swallowed the ship whole, leaving no trace that it had ever existed behind.

We blinked; our minds taking a minute to grasp the situation we were left in. We were alone in a small dinghy, barely big enough for the eight of us, in the middle of the endless Vertwyn Sea, with a carnivorous sea squid beneath us. There were no other ships in sight. There were none living who knew where we had gone.

Our world was doomed.





Saturday, November 27, 2010

NaNoWriMo: Another Excerpt

I'm 35,000 words in (yay, me!), sick and still writing. A foggy brain makes the going a little tougher, but the ideas are still flowing. I'm starting to see this as a multi-book series. Ay-yi-yi. Anyway, here's your final, unedited, rough, and raw NaNo excerpt. Enjoy!

Characters: Prince Aletalian, Ulia (the evil sorceress)
Setting: Crystal Castle

“When will the creature be ready?” Prince Aletalian asks Ulia. He knew that the birth of the creature would mean Rtharo was at his full strength, waiting for words only Ulia would dare to utter. This day held a lot of importance to the Prince. As Rtharo grew stronger, his father, Rylias, the king of all Tylunand, was growing weaker. His Guild Knights had been prepped to begin coronation procedures immediately upon the king’s passing. He was not first in line for the throne, but with his sibling absent, an heir would be necessary, and he could secure his rightful place before she ever found out about their father. By then, it would be too late.

He also enjoyed the power that Ulia had given him. He admired the amulet around his neck in the opulence of her scrying pot. It was a bloodstone. It was as big as his fist, and held more power in its belly than a dozen druids. She told him she had enchanted it so that he would be invincible in battle, and when he became king, he was to meld it into his crown. When combined with the ruby sword, the sapphire shield, the topaz staff,  and the turquoise ring, it would make him immortal she claimed. He had always envied the Elves their immortality. He would be the last high king, ruling the kingdom forever in his immortality.

“Three fortnights, it will hatch.” The dark shape inside the egg could be seen through the shell, though it was still indiscernible. “The Drtuang will be here soon.  Unless you are anxious for your death, I suggest you leave now. The orcs and goblins are marching towards Tierna ‘Or as we speak. Have you prepared your people?” Ulia cackled. Prince Aletalian’s eyes widened.
“No. You promised me the city would not be touched!”
“No, Aletalian, I promised that the castle would not be touched. Never did I promise the city. Never. Besides, I have no control over the orcs and goblins.”
“You lie. You are controlling it all, at least until Rtharo is at his full strength. It is not an orc’s nature to travel with troublesome goblins. You have to be controlling them. Call them off.”
“I cannot. Rtharo is in full control of the armies. Even if I could, I wouldn’t.” This caught Aletalian off guard. He was flabbergasted.
“You wouldn’t if you could? I thought we were in agreement: my servitude to you in exchange for my coronation. It’s pointless to be king if there is no one to appreciate it.”
“Then you should go be a king. Make an army of your village. Let them fight. In the end, it doesn’t matter anyway, they’ll all be dead.”

The prince took off towards home, riding faster than he had ever ridden before to try to save his village from being pillaged and plundered by the goblins, and the women raped by the orcs. He realized that he was being betrayed by Ulia in this very moment, but he was sure that Rtharo would reward him for his loyalty. This thought, and this thought alone kept him going. He would teach his people to fight, so that they could aid in Rtharo’s uprising. He had the greatest army in the history of Savania at his disposal in his Guild Knights. They would open the army to allow any who are interested in joining in, arm them, and train them. It would sizable enough to give any army pause, even the legions of darkness that serve Rtharo. Yes, it would be perfect. The only person standing in his way was the king.



Tuesday, November 16, 2010

NaNoWriMo: Switching Gears

So, I survived week 2, and I am now going strong, only...I switched to another story. With this new story I have been writing for 3.5 days and I already as many words and pages as it took me 2 weeks to labor over with Weathered. Now, before you get on my case, I do intend to finish Weathered, but not on a deadline. Weathered is a good idea that popped in my brain, but, honestly, it is out of my league. I know nothing about my protagonist's world, and if I am going to keep a sense of realism, I will need to research and learn. You just can't do this in 30 days, with a need for 50,000. Plus? I don't think Blair likes me very much. She stopped talking to me.

So, what are you writing now?

I am writing what I know. What I live and breath, what I can't pass by in a bookstore without purchasing at least one of, and always have to have on hand: Fantasy.

Would you like a sample? Remember, there is no editing being done, so this is rough and raw, but enjoy.

The Unlikely Hero

Far away on the top of the world, the drums have started, calling more and more creatures to the Crystal Castle. Rtharo’s power is increasing, and as his power grows, his call to the Ruby grows with it. Ulia’s power is increasing too, drawing off Rtharo. Her incantations are becoming more bold as the creature grows within the egg. Soon, it would be hatching. Her calls to her dead ancestors were being answered. The Catacomb of Illusions located deep within the bowels of the castle was awakening; the specters of the evil dead once more marching. She called their leaders one by one:
                                                                                                                                      
By the Monolith of Tio-rus!
By the Tides of Oroc-Og!
By The Blood of Wi'unegelu!
I command you to arise, Seifus the Malecontent!

By the Six Horns of Emot-erer!
By the Stones of Quror-oxym!
By the Claws of Meor-oith!
I command you to arise, Erik of Vesiminy!

By the Ancient Sorceress of Maunoial!
By the Torch of Wo’began!
By the Heart of Nary-lere!
I command you to arise, Baltasar the Bloody!

By the Infinite Myriads of Haridox!
By the Eight Bands of Feao-Lunet!
By the Wings of Ar’galopri!
I command you to arise, Reheloth of the Dragons!

By the Winds of Sau’tangaul, I invoke thee!
By the Lost Souls of Ei-gloranth, I invoke thee!
By the Power of Rtharo, I INVOKE THEE!

As each ancient king arose from the dead, the world began to shake. The louder she chanted the greater the earth shook until a crack ran up the side of the Crystal Castle, and she knew it was complete. The Legion of Lost Souls had returned, and no man dare get in their path.