Guest Blog: Not My Kid--CRAP!

Mommylebron's here. She's been busy as a squirrel stocking up for the winter, so she is sharing her #1 all time favorite post from Rage Against the Washing Machine with you today. Enjoy!!!

During the school year I teach preschool. I am a certified preschool teacher (You didn’t know that did you?) People have to trust me with their children. That’s a good feeling, most of the time. There are some children who are, well, challenging. I say this without malice because Lebella is also “challenging”. Please don’t tell her I said that!

There have been tons a few times that I thought, “Thank goodness and all that is shiny that you are not my child.” For example:

Once, during pick up time, a small group of 3 year olds were sitting quietly in a corner. The fact that they were so quiet should have served as a warning to myself and the other three adults in the room. An ear spitting scream brought us all rushing to the group where a little boy explained to us, between sobs, that he had stood up and taken out his ‘winky’ because “Mya never sawed one.” The little girl next to him apparently leaned over and *cough* bit it. (I knew the exact moment the director told the little girl’s mom because I heard her shriek, “My daughter had a penis in her mouth?!”) Thank goodness and all that is shiny that you are not my children!

Not that it matters, because again, I have LeBella:

One day I was headed back to my class after my not nearly long enough super refreshing lunch break. LeBella’s classroom was on my way, so of course, I stopped to sneak a peek to see what my little hellion darling was up to. I noticed right away a commotion over by the art sinks. It appeared someone had plugged both sinks causing them to overflow onto the counter tops and down to the floor. The children were all in an uproar and the teacher was flitting around in an attempt to restore order. Also, this someone was running and sliding (think ‘slip-n-slide’) across the counters! Who does that?? What kind of parent raises a child like that? Then the evil fun lovin’ child hops up and *gasp* NO!! MY CHILD! FOR THE LOVE OF THAT IS GOOD AND SHINY IT WAS MY CHILD!

So, I did what any dedicated mother would do. I kept walking to my classroom.

My mom tip for the week? If your kid is doing something so unbelievably embarrassing in public, pretend not to notice. Better yet, pretend it’s not your kid!

BSOW: White Rage

Today I have someone very near and dear to my heart hanging around the Poop. She blogs to release the stigma of childhood onset bipolar disorder. She's a fellow writer, in fact my writing partner, with a love of the fantasy realm too. She's an advocate for CABF, and a full time student who wants to be a Parent Advocate. She is the creator of the online support group My Kid's Bipolar Now What. She's the often funny, sometimes serious, Mommylebron from Rage Against the Washing Machine.






I asked Mommylebron: "If you could be any color crayon, which color would you be and why?" Enjoy....

If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?

At first I thought this would be a hard question, I may have even groaned. But then I realized; I am white!

No, I don't mean my ethnicity. I mean, I am white, some muddled version of it anyways. But that's not what I'm referring to.

I guess I can't claim it as a symbol of my purity....three kids hello....

But I really am white. I am white in the sense that I am a combination of all colors. I am versatile in my interests and hobbies. I love all kinds of music from country to rock and everything in between. I read everything I can get my hands on from medical advise to fantasy novels. I don't have much time for tv but even there I love everything from Hoarders to Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Another thing about white is that it does not absorb light, it reflects it. I feel I do the same. In dealing with my daughters issues I take this knowledge and then I throw it back out via my blog, Twitter, CABF and all the other places I haunt daily. I like to think I am doing the same on my (bumpy) journey towards being and author.

White represents other things to me as well. A blank slate, room to learn and grow. An empty canvas awaiting each brush stroke of inspiration.

So, as colorful as I see myself I can say with all certainty I am white.

Guest Blog: Redemption=Atonement

Jenn from The Mommy Mambo is back with her take on "redemption." Enjoy!!

Redemption=Atonement

If only, right ladies?

Sorry for the quality of the photos, everyone.  These photos are from a stone age camera, but never-the-less are capable of showing what all us mommas have secretly wished upon our husbands. 

We are both wearing the same shirt (I had to resort to his closet at the end of my pregnancy) but, my Buddha belly was squirming with 4 arms and 4 legs; 8 limbs flailing and jabbing at my organs and ribs.  He got to wear a sandbag under his shirt for a 30 second photo-op at his very own baby shower that I wasn't even invited to!  Poor guy got fed yummy snacks and was oogled by an array of women from the nursing and administrative staff while I sat at home trying to breathe.

Still, the photo of him round and plump with an inverted belly button leads to some pretty good daydreaming when he irritates me.  It's like a voo-doo photo where I imagine him racing to the toilet to pee every 10 minutes, losing complete site of his nether regions, his nose widening to the width of the continental US, his breasts exploding in painful red streaks and leaking, and his toes resembling little smokey sausages.

But is was only a sandbag.  And look what he still got out of the deal?!

Nope.  No real redemption story here.

Well, that is...until all his hair fell out a few months later!

Sweet!

While Jenn is holding down the fort here at The Scoop, I'm over at Rage Against the {Washing} Machine with my Mom's IEP interview. You don't want to miss this! ;)

Bipolar Tuesday: No Sunlight Required

It's time for another session of Bipolar Tuesday with Mommylebron at Rage Against the Washing Machine.

The topic this week is separation anxiety. I have a bit of a twist to share regarding Jellybean.

She has no problem leaving me. She is probably on the opposite end in being TOO ready to walk off. I remember being so frustrated when she was just a bit older than Scooby because she would always wander off in the store. She still does it today.

It still frustrates me to no end.

What frustrates me more though is her need to be right there whenever I have another adult present. She sticks to me better than my own shadow. When we did the walk through with the landlord of this new house, she had to be right there on my heels through the entire process. She never does this any other time, except when I'm in the bathroom. It's like having a small pet and tripping over it constantly the way she shadows me. She interrupts. She inserts her 2 cents where it is not needed.

It is highly annoying.

I can ask her to go do something else. GC can tell her to leave us alone. Within 5 minutes though, she is right back there, like the sunshine popping out from the clouds.

*Sigh*

Someday, right?

Note: I realize that JB has not been dx'd as bipolar. She has a mood disorder which shares many of the same symptoms as EOBD does. It is very helpful to me as a parent of a child with co-morbid conditions to have a support group of parents dealing with the same or similar issues as I am.

Guest Post: At Least It's Not My Kid...CRAP!

It's Day 2 of the beginning of my move. Things here are frantic, as you might expect. One person keeping me sane in the midst of all this chaos is my beloved writing partner, mommylebron from Rage Against the Washing Machine. Her kindred spirit and mirror life really keep me grounded. Please welcome Amanda to The Scoop on Poop....

During the school year I teach preschool. I am a certified preschool teacher (You didn’t know that did you?) People have to trust me with their children. That’s a good feeling, most of the time. There are some children who are, well, challenging. I say this without malice because Lebella is also “challenging”. Please don’t tell her I said that!

There have been tons a few times that I thought, “Thank goodness and all that is shiny that you are not my child.”

For example:

Once, during pick up time, a small group of 3 year olds were sitting quietly in a corner. The fact that they were so quiet should have served as a warning to myself and the other three adults in the room. An ear spitting scream brought us all rushing to the group where a little boy explained to us, between sobs, that he had stood up and taken out his ‘winky’ because “Mya never sawed one.” The little girl next to him apparently leaned over and *cough* bit it. (I knew the exact moment the director told the little girl’s mom because I heard her shriek, “My daughter had a penis in her mouth?!”) Thank goodness and all that is shiny that you are not my children!

Not that it matters, because again, I have LeBella:

One day I was headed back to my class after my not nearly long enough super refreshing lunch break. LeBella’s classroom was on my way, so of course, I stopped to sneak a peek to see what my little hellion darling was up to. I noticed right away a commotion over by the art sinks. It appeared someone had plugged both sinks causing them to overflow onto the counter tops and down to the floor. The children were all in an uproar and the teacher was flitting around in an attempt to restore order. Also, this someone was running and sliding (think ‘slip-n-slide’) across the counters! Who does that?? What kind of parent raises a child like that? Then the evil fun lovin’ child hops up and *gasp* NO!! MY CHILD! FOR THE LOVE OF THAT IS GOOD AND SHINY IT WAS MY CHILD!

So, I did what any dedicated mother would do. I kept walking to my classroom.

My mom tip for the week? If your kid is doing something so unbelievably embarrassing in public, pretend not to notice. Better yet, pretend it’s not your kid! For more great parenting tips head over to Dumb Mom’s place! Just don’t stalk her. She’s mine.