No Fear

Happy St. Patrick's Day. I'm part Irish, and hugely into the celtic culture. King Arthur? Big fan. Mannon Mac Lir, Tuatha de Danann, Rhiannon? Big fan of that too. In fact, Rhiann(a)on has been a name on my baby list for years.

In searching for St. Patty's Day material, I came across some truths about how the Irish actually celebrate the day and the legend of the Shamrock. I had actually intended to share this post with you today but the events of the past couple of days have caused me to pause.

You see, on Tuesday evening, I finally took The Mom Pledge. It was something that I meant to do a week ago when I received the email about her wonderful campaign to erase the bullying of other moms from the internet.

Tuesday I was the victim of exactly such an attack. The comments my attackers left were ugly. They were harsh. They were mean. I am not going to dignify them by posting them anywhere.

I felt violated. Raped*. Beaten and abused. I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear forever. From the internet. From life. From everything. (and yes, I realize that they are probably reading this right now, and I don't care).

With the help of The Mom Pledge, I was able to take a stand and silence my attackers. I then spent the following day collecting and blacklisting the IP addresses of my attackers from my Intense Debate account. I set my comments to be modified before they are published. I took back control over my private space. I determined that I will no longer be a victim of bullying, no matter where it comes from.

The fact is, it shouldn't occur at all. No matter how different a person is from you, no matter how strange their parenting techniques may be to you, it is never right to be rude, condescending, or disrespectful. It is never right to make them feel terrible, just because you don't agree. If you must judge, judge quietly. There is plenty of room to be able to "agree to disagree".

Motherhood is difficult enough without the stress of having to look over your shoulder. You shouldn't have to live with the fear I live with, wondering when and how and where my online bullies will attack. The first thought that should have come to mind when I decided to create a blog should not have been "What if they find it?" No one deserves to be treated the way I have been. No one.

There are steps you can take to stand up to your bullies without saying anything. No matter your reasons, you can do things to prevent from becoming a victim, and protect yourself from it happening again. You CAN take control. You will feel like a new person, trust me.

• Take the Mom Pledge
• Call for support. I used twitter. From the number of women taking the Mom Pledge, there is ready support at hand
• Delete without responding back
• Blacklist their IP addresses if possible. Blogger does not offer this feature, but Intense Debate and Disqus do. Ask me how, I'll show you.
• Change your comment settings so you can approve them before they are posted.

My heart goes out to each and every one of you who has ever had to endure online bullying. Let's take back our internet. Together, we can stand up to our attackers.

Today? I am no longer afraid. The ladies behind the mom pledge, the ladies that have taken the pledge...they have all helped me face my fear and overcome it.

Won't you Take the Mom Pledge today?

*What is Emotional Rape?