Guest Blog: Redemption=Atonement

Jenn from The Mommy Mambo is back with her take on "redemption." Enjoy!!

Redemption=Atonement

If only, right ladies?

Sorry for the quality of the photos, everyone.  These photos are from a stone age camera, but never-the-less are capable of showing what all us mommas have secretly wished upon our husbands. 

We are both wearing the same shirt (I had to resort to his closet at the end of my pregnancy) but, my Buddha belly was squirming with 4 arms and 4 legs; 8 limbs flailing and jabbing at my organs and ribs.  He got to wear a sandbag under his shirt for a 30 second photo-op at his very own baby shower that I wasn't even invited to!  Poor guy got fed yummy snacks and was oogled by an array of women from the nursing and administrative staff while I sat at home trying to breathe.

Still, the photo of him round and plump with an inverted belly button leads to some pretty good daydreaming when he irritates me.  It's like a voo-doo photo where I imagine him racing to the toilet to pee every 10 minutes, losing complete site of his nether regions, his nose widening to the width of the continental US, his breasts exploding in painful red streaks and leaking, and his toes resembling little smokey sausages.

But is was only a sandbag.  And look what he still got out of the deal?!

Nope.  No real redemption story here.

Well, that is...until all his hair fell out a few months later!

Sweet!

While Jenn is holding down the fort here at The Scoop, I'm over at Rage Against the {Washing} Machine with my Mom's IEP interview. You don't want to miss this! ;)

BSOW: I'll Meet Your Asparagus & Raise You a Turnip Green

Put on your dancing shoes and hit the ballroom floor for today's Best Scoop of the Week. Whether she is dealing with camera face,  struggling with her mirror image, or debating coffee, she manages to do it with humor.

She blogs about her selfless acts of love, gives motherhood words of wisdom, writes letters to celebrities, does the movies in full mommy style, and deals with the potty mouth only known by mothers of boys.

Who is this eclectic blogger you ask? She who can spit out poems that rhyme in a single leaping post? Why, it's none other than Jen, who does The Mommy Mambo and scores a perfect 10 every time.

I asked Jen: "If you were a vegetable, which would you be and why?"

If I were a vegetable...

     

Well first off, I like to think of myself as more of a dessert: something to look forward to, treasure and

savor. Like a meticulously stacked parfait or a delicately molded truffle.

Now you can quit laughing and I'll quit living in that fantasy world where I sit upon a pedestal and grant pleasant wants and wishes to all my loyal subjects. As of this Friday I believe I must give up all delusions of that throne. Come Monday bachelorettes and daydreaming house wives the world over will weep.

So back to the produce isle...

I would love to tell you I'm most like the Asparagus, long and sleek with a perfectly arranged head of leaves like a perfect hair style of curls. A vegetable respected by all and often paired with the choicest entrees and arranged with great care upon fine china.

But I suppose I better resemble a Turnip; round in the middle with lovely purple striations around the center, a bushy chaos of sorts on top, and dwelling in the rough and rowdy dirt of life with my 4 men. You know that vegetable cooked with too much bacon fat and often served along-side ordinary sides like peas and cornbread and all too often served on a Dixie plate. A vegetable often misunderstood and pushed away by children, but good for the heart and soul none-the-less.

Yup. Thats me. A Turnip Green parading around pretending to be an asparagus. 

But now that I've though about it I realize, as a Southern woman, Turnip Greens make it to more happy family tables than do asparagus. Tables surrounded by large families and friends laughing, sharing, celebrating, or just feeding the soul. And many of those folks round those tables would argue that you can't have Thanksgiving or Easter dinner without the Greens.

Guess that makes me pretty important, huh? 

I know at least 3 little veggie niblets who would agree.

Isn't she fun? Go over and check her out already!! What are you waiting for?