I once called her the Evolutionary Erika Eleniak . But that's like calling Randy Moss the evolutionary Don Hutson.
Not only is she one of the primary reasons the terrorists hate us - besides a 24-7 all you can eat buffet of high-speed internet porn, big screen TVs, and sidewalks - but she is the key to peace in the Middle East.
Bombs, you say? Bombs indeed.
(smash cut to the Sheikh of Whyisthislandholyagain nodding sullenly)
She balances girlish cuteness,
elite beauty,
and flithy whorishness
like a Hawaiian's head with a fruit tray.
All that AND she can Dougie.
The entire Black Bracket just collectively shuddered.
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